


Mistake

by Angielmao



Category: Voltron Legendary Defender
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Klance probably?, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk messed up, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance’s her cub, Langst, M/M, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, momma Blue lion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13468413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angielmao/pseuds/Angielmao
Summary: He thought that he was the sharpshooter, he thought that when the team thanked him for looking out after them that he brought that to the team. Hunk had been the one to tell him that he brought the happiness and cheerfulness the team needed to not fall into a death pit of emotions. So he thought that maybe he was indeed useful. That what everyone in his life told him about him being useless and a failure was a lie.Now he knew, that it must’ve been the other way around





	1. Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!~ this is my very first langst fic. Hope you enjoy! ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to my first Langst story!!

~

"Why are you like this?! Why can't you do it right for once in your life?! Its always like this! You always get us in tight knots! Why can't you be more like Keith?!"

The words came out and the room fell in silence. Lance just stood there staring at his shoes with wide eyes. He didn't mean for it to go this way. He was doing what he had been told, cover Hunk and Pidge as they went into a cave to get the things needed to get the castle's defenses back to their full force and not just the particle barrier. He had said it before though, that he couldn't handle the galra on his own. What response Allura gave him? 'You will have to because the castle can't be defenseless, Shiro is in a pod and we need the best functional fighter pilot here with us'. That being Keith of course. So when the galra got too overwhelming he did the only thing he thought was logical. 

He destroyed the entrance of the cave to assure that Pidge and Hunk were safe before flying away from there so no galra could harm the other two. Sure him and Blue got quite the beating but he held out enough to get help. If it had been Shiro it wouldn't have bothered Lance, but of course, Shiro was in a pod after their last mission (which apparently was Lance's fault as well) so no other than Keith had to go and save him. Lance didn't mind the help IF Keith hadn't found the need to make sure Lance knew he sucked as a paladin. 

Lance knew he was not a tech genius like Pidge, he knew he wasn't good at engineering or cooking like Hunk, he knew he didn't have the slightest bit of leadership like Allura or the strenght of Shiro or the wisdom of Coran. He also knew that, even if he hated it, Keith was indeed a better pilot than him. Lance was already used to this actually. Everything went to the same thing and he had come to accept it.

Keith was better than him.

At the Garrison he was a cargo pilot, because the spaces for being a fighter pilot were full. He did got a chance to be a fighter pilot! After Keith left. He was there to simply replace the empty spot Keith left, not because he was good, but because of the need to fill that spot. 

It was nothing new to hear how people wanted him to be more like someone else. In his childhood he was always seen under the shadow of his younger brother Rafael. Of course that did quite the wonders on him since not only was he compared to someone, that someone was three years younger than him. 

When his mother said "why can't you be more like Rafael?" It had stung him deeply. Just because he wanted to be a pilot and not a doctor didn't mean he was going to fail. That wound only got bigger at the Garrison. He would always be compared to Keith, in everything. When Iverson and other superiors yelled the typical line of "why can't you take example from Kogane here and actually do things right!" It made the wound bigger and bigger, he just pretended it didn't harm him and that he didn't really care for what they told him. It stung deep in him, reopening old wounds of always being pushed to this same loop of being under a shadow. 

What always helped him through was the support Hunk gave him. They knew each other since diapers so they knew each other like the palm of their hands. Hunk knew how bad Lance's pride had been hurt, how people had just stomped over him all his life. So when those words left Hunk's mouth specifically his world just came crashing down. 

He had thought that he did bring something to the team.

He thought that he was the sharpshooter, he thought that when the team thanked him for looking out after them that he brought that to the team. Hunk had been the one to tell him that he brought the happiness and cheerfulness the team needed to not fall into a death pit of emotions. So he thought that maybe he was indeed useful. That what everyone in his life told him about him being useless and a failure was a lie.

Now he knew that it must be the other way around for Hunk, out of everyone in the room, Hunk to be the one to tell him these words. He could careless if it had been Keith, or Pidge, even Shiro, but for Hunk to say those words that have tormented him for so long was the final straw for it all to just cumble at his feet.

Hunk stood there panting harshly the rage and annoyance clear in his eyes. He had just been patched up as he had been wounded because when Lace shoot the entrance him and Pidge were apparently on their way back and he had decided to take most of the damage than it being Pidge. They hadn't talked to him in about an hour after they got into the cave so how was he supposed to know when they were going out when they had shut him down for that entire hour? Pidge was fine just with minor scratches. Shiro had walked out of the pod just to be greeted by Lance and Keith bickering before Hunk exploded so he was staring at Hunk with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Shiro has always been the only one that has told him he wasn't useless, of course appart from Hunk, but now he really was the only one. It was no secret that Lance admired him so maybe that was why he hasn't told Lance, maybe he didn't want to hurt him. Lance didn't need that pity, not when he had already been broken.

Lance looked up at Hunk him himself unable to tell what expression he was making, but apparently it was enough for Hunk to gasp and his eyes to widen in realization to what he had said. It was too late now. Lance now knew that if so many people pointed the same thing out it was because it was true.

"L-Lance..I-I...Lance I didn't mean..." Hunk stuttered, his mouth hanging open as Lance lifted his hand to stop him from going any further. Everyone in the toom stood silent.

"It's alright Hunk. Thank you for telling me and making me realize I have been lying to myself this whole time, I mean. How long has it been? Twenty something years? You couldn't lie forever to make me happy." He hated the wavering and cracking in his voice and was aware how everyone had heard it so he tried to muster his best fake smile "don't worry about it, Everyone has always said it right? So guess it must be true" he said, pushing away Blue's conscience as she tried to reach him.

"Lance no, its not true, I-I didn't mean that" Hunk tried again, giving a step towards Lance who shook his head stepping back "Lance please, I'm so sorry"

"No buddy, really, don't feel bad. I'm the one that's sorry. You're right after all, I can't do anything right, I'm just a burden. I weight the team down. Even I don't know what blue saw in me to have chosen me as her paladin. Maybe you guys could've defeated Zarkon years ago if I wasn't the blue paladin. I'm just a miserable cargo pilot. In fact" he scoffed at the pathetic the stinging in he eyes, he didn't knew if he was already crying or not but he was trying his hardest not to. What he did know was that he must be close to hyperventilating giving how ragged his own voice sounded and the painful crushing feeling in his chest. Was he having a panic attack? Was this what Shiro felt evey time he panicked? "I'm just a mistake. Mother had told me once. That I was just a mistake, she said it when I told her that I'm bisexual I mean, look at me! I'm all lanky, I'm dumb, I'm stupid, I'm annoying, I'm ugly, I'm a failure as a son, as a brother, I'm a failure as a pilot and apparently as a friend as well. I should have simply not been born." He smiled the same smile trying to keep his lip from quivering, deciding on blocking off Blue as she kept trying to get in his mind. She didn't deserve him, she was so kind, so caring, so loving that Lance simply didn't deserve to be her paladin.

He couldn't take it anymore, there were too many emotions, too many voices, too many touches, there was too much pain in him for him to analyze who was touching him and who was talking. He needed to get away. Of course he hated running from his problems so he always tried to face them but now, he needed to run. That is exactly what he did, he ripped all the hands that were touching him away from his body and ran, he ran as if his life depended on it, which in his book, it did depend on it. He ran into his room and slammed into the touch pad urging the door to close and locking it when it finally closed. He panted walking from the door scoffing as no one attempted to get him to open it. He didn't even know why had he felt like anyone would run after him when they simply didn't need him. 

Pidge didn't need him.

Coran didn't need him.

Allura didn't need him.

Keith definitely didn't need him.

Shiro never needed him.

And now, Hunk, the only person he thought that needed him didn't seem to need him. 

Lance choked on a sob gripping at his shirt over were his heart is and whimpered letting his body fall on his bed facing the wall. He sobbed taking his jacket off and tugged his shirt over his head feeling constricted with them on. He sniffled and sobbed as tears cascaded now freely down his cheeks. He grabbed his jacket and hugged it to his chest. 

When all of this loop of people comparing him and judging him started he would always go to his papa. His papa was a fighter pilot and he was his real hero, ever since he was young, he was the only person from his family he respected enough to idolize. His parents divorced when he was young and when his mother had remarried came Rafael and all the others. Lance was the off spring of a bad time for his mother so of course he was treated differently. When he didn't feel good he would go to his papa. His papa would always take care of him no matter the hour or what he was doing, he would leave everything he was doing for Lance. That was until he died in a mission leaving this very jacket to Lance. 

"Papa, it hurts so much" he whispered between sobs and gasps. He bit his lip harshly trying to not be loud. He didn't need to guilt trip Hunk. Hunk had his right to tell what he thought and to be honest with him. He burried his face into the jacket sobbing into it, atleast like this they wouldn't hear him. "I'm so tired papa, I miss you so much. It's always like this. I simply do not belong here. I only belonged with you a-and ever since you died..." he hiccuped sneaking his hand to his chest and clawing at it over where his heart was, not caring if it bled or not just trying desperately to get rid of the painful clench in his heart. "This pain, it won't go away. N-Now I've no one left, I made Hunk hate me, I lost my best friend too. I-I don't know what to do now. I'm so tired of always enduring. I sometimes just wish that I-I..." he clasped his mouth shut when there was a knock on the door, his body going stiff and he didn't answer.

"L-Lance? Look... I know I stepped over the line... heck I stepped miles on the other side of the line, please lets talk." Came Hunk's voice muffled by the door. Lance just bit his quivering lip trying to control his hiccups and sobs to prevent any sound from leaving him. He couldn't face Hunk, not now. He was too vulnerable for this, in fact, he didn't want to face or speak with anyone." He's not answering" 

"Let's give him time, Hunk. You know he's a fucking drama queen" came Pidge's voice sending another wave of pain through his heart.

"Yeah, after a few days of his shit he'll come out and we would go back to normal" added Keith before Shiro scolded them both with a harsh tone.

"Hunk, You being the one to say that about him may really have affected him, give him some time to calm down" Shiro said calmy and reassuringly as Hunk sighed deeply.

"Alright... I just... I mean... yeah you're right..." Hunk said before he left. Lance took a shaky breath before a strangled cry left his throat after he made sure he didn't hear anyone outside. The clench in his heart tightening painfully which caused even more sobs and cries to rock his body. 

He caused Hunk pain. Lance knew when he cried. Hunk's voice would go deeper than what it was and would have a rough tone. Lance could tell he was crying which only made everything worst. What kind of friend he was? Causing so much misfortune and pain to his friends, to the people he loved. He was not friend, he was no son, he was no brother. He was a monster. 

He flipped unto his other side facing the desk he had in his room. It was pushed against the wall and on top of it, among his other stuff, was the bottle of the Altean version for pain killers. They were stronger than human meds so instead of two tablets he only had to take one and it would work just right. Allura had emphasized that they can't take more than that giving that they would cause an overdose in their human bodies. 

Maybe, just maybe, they could erase the mistake the world had made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! Thank you for reading this chapter. Feel free to comment and give feedback! Suggestions are very much welcomed too! 
> 
> See you next chap!  
> ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡


	2. Mistake or not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter two!

Lance will admit he was not doing alright. He couldn't find the energy to actually move or walk out of his room, to that adding that he didn't want to face the other paladins. He did try to, its not like he didn't, he would stand infront of his door where he knew the others were at the other side and contemplate if he should or shouldn't go out and face them. He had decided that he wouldn't, at least not until he felt better. There still was that fucking painful clench in his heart and he had already clawed at his chest so much that it had scratching wounds that had covered his hands, chest and abdomen with blood, which forced him to have to spend quite some time in the bathroom taking care if that.

He had lost track of time and hadn't stopped crying. Whenever he though his body couldn't create more tears he was proven wrong. Hunk's words were in a loop in his mind. He just couldn't believe that Hunk would think of him that way. The thought that now he didn't have Hunk to rely on was too overwhelming.

He did ponder on using the pills to end his torture, but just when he was about to pop all of the pills into his mouth he had hesitated. 

He started to think how would the others react to this. Allura, Coran and Hunk worried him the most.

Allura has already expressed her deep care for Lance. She had claimed that he was her little brother, and would drag him to her room so they had what she had called sibling time. That surely had helped him with his conflicts but didn't exactly do the trick since she was usually busy with planning strategies and dealing with where to go next and all.

Coran was the uncle he didn't really have. His Papa was an only child and his mother had two sisters. Just like how his mother treated him differently, they did as well. In all honesty he was under his mother's care so she didn't have problems with the law. Coran would actually guide him when he was stuck, no wonder he was a royal advisor. Whenever Lance needed to talk about his feelings and Hunk couldn't help him Coran would always be willing to help him. Sometimes he even reminded Lance of his Papa because of how willing he was to leave everything he was doing to listen to Lance. 

And Hunk. Honestly he worried Lance more than the others.

He remembers when he tried to kill himself after his father died. He had just started at the garrison and had fallen into what Hunk called a death pit, it was just like this one right now. Obviously it's all foggy and blurry with missing pieces because he was dying, but one thing stood in his mind and has never left. It was Hunk. Hunk had been so scared and the way he begged and wailed for Lance to not die replayed fresh in his mind. That made him feel angry at himself. He had gotten so angry that he had thrown the pills across the room causing them to scatter everywhere.

Hunk hurt him yet he still cared. He wanted to hate Hunk, wanted to be angry at him, but he just couldn't. Hunk was such an important person to him that Lance couldn't help it. Who knows maybe he has a platonic crush on Hunk or something but he didn't really care. Hunk has been a constant in his life, he was used to having him there to hold him and comfort him and now that Hunk was the one that hurt him he didn't know how to deal with his emotions.

So he decided to atleast find comfort in Blue. He had decided to let Blue back into his mind after the commotion. She had turned into her organic form and had been begging and pleading at Lance to let her in for almost three days in a row, he knew she was scratching at his door to let him know she was there and wanted to go in so he let her in. When he opened the door just a little for her to slip in he was greeted by a glimpse of the others making him close the door again immediately after she slipped in. 

He would snuggle in her warmth and love. He would take as much as he could even if that malicious thought that Blue was too good for him still bugged his mind. He decided to chase it off, for her. 

He knew the others were outside his door, he also knew Pidge had hacked into his helmet giving he heard her cheering and wooping when she succeeded. He guessed it was to see what he was up to. 

Lance had moved to sit against the door now, Blue bringing him his pillows and blankets and together they made their own den against the door. He would listen to all the others outside the door murmured to him through the door, he would listen to every single apology and attempt to get him to atleast speak. He didn't answer though, he just leaned back against the door and listen while caressing Blue's fur. He had decided to keep the helmet against his chest along with his jacket giving the slightest bit of comfort he could to the team through the hacked helmet. He knew already why Pidge Hacked it, they were using it as a stethoscope and were listening to his pulse. He didn't mind as long as it brought them comfort.

Lance knew he shouldn't be thinking for ways to comfort the rest of the team right outside the door when he couldn't even breath without feeling like his ribs were going to crush his lungs and heart, when his head felt like it was being split open because of the raging head ache he had, when he had to breath through his mouth because his nose was clogged up, when his eyes were puffy and swollen, and his once smooth and healthy lips are now chapped from so much crying, but he couldn't help feeling worst at the thought that they were hurting because of him, he hurt them. He hurt the people he has come to care the most in this fucking war. 

He was leaning against the door once again staring at the wall infront of him while caressing Blue's fur. He frowned when he felt something big and warm against the door. 

"Lance?" Came Hunk's voice making him freeze in his spot and his breath hitched. Lance gulped trying to get rid of the lump forming in his throat and his eyes started to tear up instantly. He hugged the helmet and jacket tightly against his chest biting his chapped bottom lip harshly, starting to taste an irony flavor in his tongue, probably having just sunk his teeth into his lip. 

"Lance... look... I know that I fucked it up I mean... I almost grew up with you and I know how much people have judged you and have compared you to others. I also know how much you've always been compared to Keith and always having been told mean things a-and I-I..." Lance gasped lightly as tears ran down his face. At this Blue snarled lowly before curling unto Lance's lap.

"Shit, Hunk stop, I don't think now is the time. Blue just snarled at us" came Pidge's voice muffled by the door. "His heart rate is picking up a lot man"

"Hunk, wait for him to approach us, he might not be ready for this talk, and I doubt that you're in any state to talk to him.You need to be patient Hunk." Shiro added, his soothing voice helping Lance start to calm a little before Hunk started to talk again.

"No! I have waited But I need to try and fix this! I-I... Lance, I'm so fucking sorry. I have no excuse for what I did. You have no obligation of forgiving me. You don't even have to! Just... Don't fall back into that death pit please. W-When your father died I found you almost dead. I-I would never be able to live with your death in my conscience. Please Just... lets talk it out please Lance" At this point Hunk was sobbing against the door. Lance himself was sobbing uncontrollably using his hand to cover his mouth. He tried desperately to calm down because his breathing was too agitated. Lance knew he was not okay, and Hunk speaking so desperately was like the first day all over again. 

"Hunk get away from there right now! Christ Listen to his heart beat! Get the fuck away!" Came Keith's voice before there was struggling against the door. Lance couldn't register anything else that was happening after that. He was too busy gasping for air as tears cascaded down his cheeks, his vision was tunneled, pulsing in and out with the rhythm of his heart beat which was blaring on his ears preventing him to listen anything else. His hands trembled where they gripped on the jacket and the helmet in his lap.

"My cub, you need to calm down, I am here for you. Please take deep breaths" came Blue's soothing voice before her warm comforting presence flooded his mind, instantly starting to work on calming him down. He gasped for air, a ragged cry ripping through his throat before he felt himself be pulled into Blue's soft fur by huge lion paws on his shoulders. He obeyed trying to take deep breaths, breathing in Blue's comforting scent. He sobbed and burried his face into her fur as she kept reassuring him in his mind.

After what felt like an eternity he was slumped against Blue too exhausted to move. He felt completely drained in every single way, emotionally, mentally and physically. Blue had taken into her mission to lap at his cheeks trying to get rid of the tears that had slowed considerably, her purr rumbling through their bodies making his eyes get droppy. 

"That's it my cub. Rest. I will stay here by your side, I will shower you with my love. I will protect you and care for you" Blue said, sloftly and carefully pushing him back against the pillows and blankets.

"Blue?" He mumbled looking at the lioness who hummed looking at him with caring yellow eyes" why would you do so much for me? I do not deserve you. A mistake is never something worth caring for" 

Blue sighed and laid down against him starting to softly lick his hair in an attempt to groom him even though she had already forced him to shower. She honestly made him feel like her cub sometimes"my cub, I will always love you. You are no mistake. Mistakes do not exist. Everything happens for a purpose." She purred carefully pulling a blanket to cover Lance.

"But... what purpose would I have? I mean, I have nothing to offer, I-" Lance started before Blue cut him off.

"Lance, my lovely cub, you have so much to offer yet you speak so lowly of yourself. You're such an amazing being, so selfless and dedicated. Don't believe what others say about you. I know my cub, it's easier said than done, but now you have me by your side. I will help you forever, even if you ever stop being my paladin, you will always be my lovely cub" she purred laying her head on his chest with a lionish warm smile.

"But... Blue I-hmph!" 

"None of that, don't ruin this moment with words sweet cheeks" she said taking her paw from Lance's face as she had silenced him with it. The genuine laugh that rumbled through Lance's body made her swell with pride and happiness as she had successfully made her cub feel better.

"And that Blue?" He chuckled as she gave him a shrug 

"Learned from the best, now rest my cub, I will be here with you" she purred happily curling against Lance and licking his cheek, softly humming on his mind a soothing lullaby to coax him to sleep. Maybe he could trust blue on this one. He smiled letting exhaustion take over his body and mind. 

Mistake or not, he now knew that for Blue, he was more than just her paladin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! Thank you for reading this chapter. Feel free to comment and give feedback! Suggestions are very much welcomed too! 
> 
> See you next chap!  
> ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡


	3. Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter three!

Three weeks. Three weeks have passed and the rest of team Voltron hadn't heard anything from Lance. 

Well that wasn't entirely true. 

After the first two days Pidge had finally gotten worried and realized that this was no Lance drama giving that after a few hours he should have been back to normal. She had gotten so worried that she spent the first week on her computer just outside of Lance's door and hacked into Lance's helmet comm. She knew he had it in there giving they each had their armors in their rooms in case they had to suit up quick. She hacked and amplified the microphone so much that she didn't only hear his breathing, she could even hear his heartbeat. At first it was an utter mess since she would be able to hear even the slightest sound which meant hours and hours of modifying it enough so the heartbeat was the focus in the audio. That calmed her enough to actually sleep. 

Hunk had told them about what happened with Lance on Earth. He had even told them about when he had tried to kill himself back at Earth after his father died. How he had actually found him slumped against the wall of the bathtub from their shared room back at the Garrison all covered in blood and barely even breathing . At this information Allura had gotten panicked when she remembered the pills on each paladins' rooms along with any possible thing that could actually be useful to commit something horrible which was what started Pidge's worry in the first place.

Keith wasn't really that comforted upon hearing his heart beat. Sure it reassured him and the rest of the team that Lance was alive, but his pulse wasn't a healthy calm one. It would be calm when suddenly it would start kicking up speed before calming again. That definitely couldn't be healthy in any way. He had tried to coax Lance to speak. At first trying to get him to bicker with him, and then just trying to comfort him. It made him feel awkward and probably wasn't working giving that Keith wasn't someone of words but more of actions, probably because of having to rely on actions his entire life before Shiro came along. 

Keith will admit it, he was being to harsh on Lance. He knew that Lance's determination mostly came from proving himself, but recently that lacked a lot around. It was as if Lance had given up, and Keith just wanted to help him out. Sure picking up fights against him may not have been the most clever idea but Keith had noticed the changes in Lance. Which was what worried him the most, and since he wasn't that socially gifted he had no idea how to adress the situation.

Lance was awfully calmer now. He had stopped flirting not only with Allura but with everyone that wasn't Blue. He didn't go to the pool anymore when that was a must in Lance's week. He didn't help Hunk out in the kitchen anymore, or bug Pidge to hell and back. His arguments to Keith had even dropped considerably since now he would stay quiet and glare at Keith. Heck he wouldn't even crack jokes anymore.

Lance had closed up on himself and that worried Keith to oblivion.

After the first week they had started camping on the hall outside Lance's room. All of them hundled together on blankets and the mattresses from each bed with Pidge's computer in the middle from were Lance's heartbeat could be heard. They would murmur to the door and talk to it in hopes of getting Lance to atleast speak to them. Hunk would plead and plead to Lance to let him talk with him which only made things worst and they had to forbid Hunk from nearing the door after Lance's heartbeat had turned so agitated and strong that they had gotten worried he would have a heart attack. 

They would also leave food outside the door for Lance and only grew even more worried when Lance didn't eat anything, he wouldn't even open the door. They had been worried enough to plead at him to atleast drink water. They were all a little relieved when they saw the door swoosh open on the second week, just a little for the tray to be pulled inside before he door closed and locked again, later on the tray pushed outside empty. Atleast they knew that Lance hadn't done anything crazy and that he was eating now. 

Of course that didn't calm them about how his emotional health was doing. They were about to go to a fourth week and Hunk has been beating himself over and over again. How could he allow such a slip? How could he even start thinking that way of Lance? He knew this would happen for fucks sake! He knew Lance only wanted them safe! He knew Lance would die before letting anything happen to him and Pidge! He would never forgive himself for doing this to Lance, even if Lance himself forgave him, he couldn't forgive himself. What he did was uncalled for and unforgivable. How could he compare Lance? With KEITH for fucks sake?! Hunk knew he seriously did it and Coran and Allura giving him the cold shoulder only made him realize how much of a fuck up he has done. Him and Lance knew each other since forever and this was the very first time Hunk has ever done such thing. Lance never has gone as far as crossing the line so bad, he didn't even neared it! In fact he even helped Hunk to feel better about his flaws, and if Hunk knew Lance as well as he knew him, he knew that Lance must be blaming himself which he really hated giving Lance shouldn't even be worried about how they were doing.

Coran was already too worried. He had come to see Lance as his son. He cared deeply for the blue paladin. He had been giving the cold shoulder to all of the other paladins for making Lance feel this way. He didn't deserve such treatment and disrespect. He was a paladin of Voltron just like the others, and to know that he has been resented and harmed so much, even by the other paladins. He might not know much about Earth's customs but in Altea to hurt a being to this point was unacceptable, much more if it was a paladin of Voltron. The princess Allura obviously shared his thoughts as she as well expressed her disappointment. He's had enough of this nonsense the Paladins had of laughing and judging the blue paladin, and he also had enough with sleeping on mattresses. 

Today he would convince Lance to let him in. Even if it took up the entire day, he would be in there surely. So he started his mission by pushing the other paladins away from the door, not really caring if they found it rude or not, and softly knocked of the door"Lance? Can I come in? I'm worried for your well being, me and Allura want to see you" he said, Allura walking to him and pressing her hand to the door.

"Indeed Lance, even if its only me or only Coran. We are worried. We won't let the other paladins inside, we promise." She reassured sending her most dangerous glare to the others immediately shutting up any comments or complains.

They waited for a few minutes slowly loosing hope of actually getting inside the room when the door slowly swished open just a little.

"Coran" came a whisper which they knew was Lance. They all felt relief flood through them before worry replaced it. His voice sounded rough and dry, as if he had been crying without stop. 

Hunk regretted many things in his life, but this was by far the one he regretted the most. How he wished he had never made such a huge fucking mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! Thank you for reading this chapter. Feel free to comment and give feedback! Suggestions are very much welcomed too! 
> 
> See you next chap!  
> ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡


	4. I need you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter four!
> 
> These have all been posted so quick because I had already posted this story on Tumblr. The last chapter is still on work! (Have about half of it done)

Coran took a deep breath before walking to the door and opening it more with the touch pad before slipping in. He closed the door behind himself, without locking it, preparing himself to face the room. When he did turn around his heart plummeted to his stomach. The room was completely trashed. Lance had somehow figured how to deactivate the day and night cycle and it was stuck on utter darkness, there was a mess of blankets and pillows on the floor and things where all scattered across the room. What took Coran's attention the most was the mess of small tablets scattered near the wall opposite to the bed.

The Altean pain medications.

When he looked at Lance his heart shattered completely. He was shirtless standing beside the blue lion with his hand on her head softly playing with her ears and not meeting his eyes. The bright and happy glow that usually surrounded the blue paladin was replaced by a dark somber aura. His once healthy appearance was replaced by a brown mess of hairs sticking in every single direction, his blue eyes were swollen and puffy with bags under them, cheeks marked with tear tracks, lips chapped and wounded, and way skinnier than last time Coran saw him. His eyes drifted to the clawing marks on the blue paladin's chest that seemed to have already healed leaving a redish scar. Coran would never have expected to see him so destroyed in the time he has known the younger. Tears where flooding Lance's eyes the longer they stood there and Coran couldn't hold back anymore. In long strides he engulfed the boy into a hug. 

"My boy. Look at you." He whispered, tightening the hug when a sob broke out from Lance's throat. 

Lance wrapped his arms around Coran and gripped into the back of his shirt, burying his face into the older man's chest like how he used to do with his papa. There, in the welcoming warmth of Coran, Lance sobbed and wailed, Blue whinning and pressing herself into Lance's leg so her cub knew that she was there with him. 

"I-I am s-so sorry" Lance sobbed, voice muffled because of Coran's chest. Coran's hugs were so similar to his papa's. They made Lance feel safe, he felt like hell could break loose and he would still be safe. They made him feel as if he actually belonged somewhere.

Coran sighed softly caressing his shaking back. "No, you have nothing to apologize for, my boy" He kept caressing Lance's back and hair trying to bring comfort to him. Coran looked over to the helmet that was on Lance's bed before carefully walking to it and carefully pushing Lance to sit on the bed. He got dragged down to sit as well by Lance who wouldn't let go of him, face still against his chest and arms wrapped tightly around him as if he was scared of Coran disappearing. Coran took the helmet to deactivate the comm so they could have privacy before Lance's tanned fingers wrapped around his wrist preventing him from doing so.

"T-Tell 'Llura to come in" Lance whispered against Coran's chest. Coran nodded his head picking up the helmet.

"Princess Allura, Lance wants you to come in" he said into the comm before deactivating it and putting it back on the bed. Not even a second later the door of the room swooshed open, allowing Allura to run inside before it closed again. 

Allura looked around the room before her eyes landed on Lance. She gasped covering her mouth before rushing to them and wrapping her arms around Lance's waist.

"I'm so so sorry Lance. How could I let this go this far. I should've stopped this before it happened, I'm so sorry" Allura said as Lance turned a little to wrap his arm around her but not letting go of Coran. "I failed to protect you, I-" Lance shook his head pulling his face from Coran's chest sniffing.

"Allura, you have nothing to apologize for. It's all my fault, if only I was better, If only I was smart, if only I wasn't a fucking disgrace at everything I do, maybe I wouldn't have lost so much. I'm just a monster, a mistake, a-a failure" Lance sobbed, covering his face with his hands."no one needs me, I'm just a waste of space. I-I" Lance choked on a sob. Blue growled lowly and hopped on the bed. She walked behind Lance and laid down behind him while licking his cheek as he leaned back to rest his body against her. "No one really needs me" he whispered sniffing.

"I need you Lance" Lance froze when those words reached his ears. Had he heard right? Had Coran just said that? No... it can't be...

Allura was just as shocked as Lance was. Coran was never one to say things like these. Coran was more of the cheerful type that would let you know how much you mean in a funny remark. These words were filled with so much emotion and said so softly yet sadly. Blue eyes met purple eyes as Coran smiled a sad smile, seeing how Lance opened and closed his mouth as if trying to get his body to express his thoughts but the shock preventing him to do that.

"W-what?" Whispered Lance, as Coran sighed but didn't pull away from the younger boy in his arms. Coran knew how off character he was acting. He hated to show vulnerability. Ever since he grew out of puberty, he would hide vulnerability at all costs. But... now... this was Lance. This was Lance... the blue paladin of Voltron... he needed to know just how much he meant.

Coran took a shaky breath trying to organize his thoughts as they were all over the place. He gulped before looking at Lance"I have lived for more that six hundred years, my boy. I have seen so much and experienced so much. I had a family.... A lovely wife with a lovely child. Well..." he paused as a bitter chuckle left his mouth "not exactly child since he was already a fine adult... When I woke up from the Cryosleep and found out that all of Altea was gone..." he trailed off looking into the distance with a pained look. As if he was reliving that moment all over again. Lance hated that look on the older man. The way his uptight posture fell, his shoulders slumped, his eyes wet and distant, it didn't suit Coran at all. He kept shut as Coran continued on"how that felt....The world I knew...the world I grew up in...the world I loved ... i-it was just...gone...Along with my family, my son, my wife. It was so...difficult to not be able to mourn my loss because of the war." 

Lance gulped tightening his hug on Coran as the older man paused to try and regain himself. He started to rub Coran's back, trying to give the older man the very much needed comfort. Coran leaned into the hug sighing. Beside them was Allura who just didn't know what to do. She understood what Coran meant, she herself having met Coran's family before. She knew what kind of pain he felt and honestly couldn't help but feel as if she had neglected his feeling because of her own. 

" I know how you feel. Yes my knowledge has been very useful, but its not at the same time as its ten thousand years old. That is until you neared me and told me how grateful you were for all I knew... when you told me you wanted to know more about how things were in my time..." He looked down at Lance and smiled" I had already lost all hope but your way of addressing things... your happiness, your kindness, how you went to me looking for advice, the jokes we made... the times we shared... you showing me your world and allowing me to show you the one I lost... It gave me hope that maybe all I knew was gone but that I was not alone, because I had you Lance. I have come to love you as much as I loved my son. Just like sons need their fathers' support, their fathers need their son's. You gave me that support Lance." Lance gasped as a small drop landed on his left cheek. Coran sighed as small tears escaped his eyes." I need your kindess Lance, I need your reassurances, I need my son Lance. Earth may not have valued you but I do. You are my son, and I will look after you." Coran smiled hugging Lance to his chest.

Lance sniffed and smiled, a warmth coursing through his body and making his tense muscles relax completely for the first time in days. He closed his eyes with a smile before a tap to his forehead startled him enough to make him jump slightly. Allura grinned at him through tears.

"And don't think you will get free from me! You are my brother! They might not see the amazing person you are, but we do, and we are more than happy to accept you with us" Allura added while hugging him tightly. She had already gotten past the shock of Coran crying as tears rolled down her own eyes as well."Altean or not you are part of us now."

"Thank you" whispered Lance as he smiled and closed his eyes hugging the two altean closer to himself. He felt so loved, so accepted. He had a family again, he had a father again, he had a sister that looked after him. He may not look like them, but now he knew that he was a part of them. 

"See? Everything is going to be alright my cub" Blue's comforting voice flooded through him. Finally, the asphyxiating pressure that was on his chest slowly released him and he felt like he could breathe again. Now he only had to fix things up with Hunk which didn't scare him as much as it did in the beginning. Sure loosing Hunk will scar him for life, but now he knew that if Hunk decided to get rid of him that he had people that would support him through the pain.

**Author's Note:**

> Well! Thank you for reading this chapter. Feel free to comment and give feedback! Suggestions are very much welcomed too! 
> 
> See you next chap!  
> ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡


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